Dancing With Cancer Memoirs...Various Musings

Well, my second round of chemo on July 29th went much better than the first. Not only did I NOT end up in the hospital, I did not even throw up. Of course I kept myself pretty medicated starting BEFORE the chemo treatment which I will do again for my third course on next Wednesday, August 13th.

I am now taking Marinol, although to be honest I believe I, and all cancer patients, should have legal access to medical Marijuana like in California. It is a ridiculous that it is illegal due to it's many medical and spiritual uses. I (and many others I know) do not even consider Marijuana a drug. To us, a drug is something we have to either go to the doctor or a store for; something we cannot make or grow ourselves. This includes vitamins and supplements.

To isolate a plant compound and synthesize it in a lab destroys the synergy of the entire plant and makes the compound potentially dangerous. All plant compounds work together in syngery for the good of the whole. When humans mess with that syngery, and isolate them from each other, they are inviting trouble. Research backing this is out there, but if one is not looking for it, it can be difficult to come across.

One book I purchased since I started this Journey devotes a whole chapter on supplements. The name of the book is Food to Fight Cancer: Essential foods to help prevent cancer by Richard Beliveau, Ph.D. and Denis Gingras, Ph.D. The chapter is 17, and is called Supplements: Friend or Foe? The chapter starts with an interesting quote by Paracelsus who lived from 1493-1541: "All substances are poisons; there is none which is not a poison. The right dose differentiates a poison from a remedy."

I am definately not saying it is wrong or bad to take vitamins and/or supplements; they have their place in the lives of people and it is an individual choice. I do feel, though, that many people mistakenly think they can pop a supplement or some other type of pill in place of real, whole foods or to make them feel better without doing the hard work of changing behaviors, and I feel this is a huge mistake propagated by corporations who make a living selling them. One cannot get their nutritional needs met through any type of pill. One cannot depend on drugs to fixed all their physical and emotional problems. We have become a nation of pill poppers. Got an ache? Pop a pill. Don't have time to eat healthy? Pop a pill. Don't have time, or don't feel like eating? Pop a pill. Feeling nervous? Pop a pill. Feeling mad? Pop a pill. Feeling bored? Pop a pill. Not only is this mind numbing thinking unhealthy, it is dangerous and only benefits the ones making these pills and convincing the masses they are good, safe, and necessary.

Obviously I could have done more for my own health and well-being. However I don't consider this cancer to be my enemy, something to be hated, feared, and destroyed. To be honest, I communicated with my tumor before I had the surgeon remove it, explaining why it had to go. I felt its fear mixed with my own fear.But I also don't consider cancer my friend. But for whatever reason, it is in my body, created within my body, by my body, and I feel to hate something created in my body is to hate a part of myself that I need to nurture and love to make whole again.

What I do consider cancer to be is my teacher, a rude crude teacher, my body's way of screaming so loud to get my attention because all other attempts to do so failed miserably. I feel I need to love whatever cancer cells are left in my body, (and all cells in my body) to flood them with love and healthy choices and emotions so they will be mollified to stay quite and single celled.I know there are no guarantees, cancer happens to the healthiest of people, sometimes more than once, and it could happen to me again, but this approach feels right for me.